Monday, December 05, 2005

Holiday Stress

There is just always too much to do.  The frickin' outdoor lights, the tree, get the pictures developed, pick them out, develop them put them in windows & make the photo albums, get picture xmas cards made, write the xmas letter, send it all out, clean the fucking house, get the dog groomed.  Maybe I JUST WON'T DO ANYTHING. 

I'm depressed I have to work so much, the paychecks have been cut in half as well as the vacations, I get only 2 measly weeks the end of dec instead of the whole month.  And I assure you, it will be NO vacation with so much to do, not to mention you know who coming to stay with us for the "holiday" to see his kids & mother, & act like he's NOT a deadbeat dad.  He truly makes my stomach turn, esp to watch Doris adore his looser ass so much.

     Last night we had another fight, I seem to be too much of a mean, hateful bitch to Doris & it just "makes her want to go somewhere."  Again with the threat to leave me.  I just broke down & cried because of all of the above, (didn't mention the looser son) & that it has become impossible to make her happy since she's retired.  I am becoming more & more depressed & it scares me.  But not as much as Doris' leaving...  However que sera sera. if that's what she wants to do, she probably COULD find someone easier to get along with. I can be such a bitch.  glad I'm flying out today, even tho' I'm exhausted & don't want to go anywhere.

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