Thursday, July 30, 2009

Boring June stuff

OMG My frickin' computer hasn't been able to turn on the past week, it's the connection to the phone line & I STILL can't figure out what happened. (I'm an idiot.) So finally, I brought it downstairs & connected to another phone line & thank goodness I can get back on. Phew! I Just don't get what happened to the phone line upstairs. Sheese.

So my hip still hurts, even after a cortisone shot... Getting a bursitis shot next week, maybe that will help. I've been going to physical therapy 3Xweek for 2 months, it really hasn't helped. On top of that, yesterday they tell me I need to do a $30 co-pay for all the past sessions which goes well over $500. Ahhhh, HUHHHH??? So I cancelled half of what's scheduled for next month & guess I'll be sending $30 a month till it's payed off. crap. I HATE BLUE CROSS BLUE SHIELD.

sigh. One day at a time.

Other than that, I'm good, but broke. I can't believe June is over, damn. Summer is speeding by. I may never go back to work if my hip pain doesn't get better. And you know what? I think that'd be just fine. I am really loving being OFF. I really can't get upset about it (yet) because I've had a good 41 years up in the air & at least I can get social security to supplement my lame retirement check. At least it'd be more than what I'm getting on the sick list.

Que sera' sera' what ever the fuck will be....
God Goddess Universe says Be Patient.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

28th Anniversary!

7/17th... That is our anniversary.
Actually so is July 4th because -
28 years ago on July 4th,
Doris & I decided
we would become a committed couple.
We said 'we will continue dating
for perhaps 2 more months
before we finally have sex!'

It was a good plan, but
we only lasted 13 more days.
(13 has always been my lucky number!)
to July 17th
(Not to mention,
I was a hot, gorgeous
little femmie femme
back then..) Hence -
July 17th is our anniversary,
we became Solid.

We've gone thru many changes
over these days, years, decades.
Those of you
who've been reading my blog
have gone thru
some of the
I mean love & growth...
along with me.

Relationships are tricky
none are perfect.
Everyone always asks
how we made it
so long together.
There is only one answer.

Both parties
to STAY together
& get thru all the bullshit,
the screaming emotional upheavals,
the simmering pissy hurt feelings
I mean learning life's lessons &
accepting each other's differences...

It will not work
if only one person
puts in 100%.
If the other partner
doesn't care enough to remain
thru the thick & thin,
the pleasure as well as the pain,
the heaven & hell,
it can not work.

Both lovers
have to put in 100% each,
you need 200% commitment...
even though at times
you are sure
you will end up committed
to the looney bin
of a working relationship...

Both people
have to WANT TO STAY
to do all the hard work.

if you decide
'fuck it' & bolt
(even tho painful,
it's the easy way out)
you will have to start
at the beginning
with someone else &
deal with all their crap
& baggage
along with your own..
which still sucks because
you haven't worked
on changing yourself & growing
just accepting each other's differences
& moving on together.

Of course,
in no way
should one ever stay
in a bad or abusive
that is wrong for you.
Better to get out
of that bullshit immediately.
(Wish I had of learned THAT lesson
back in my 20's, 30's & early 40's.
But nooOOOooo.
I stayed to the bitter ends
& wasted a ton of time
& life.)

Okay all that being said
(I'm sorry for the mudane lecture -
don't know WHY I got into all that,)
we had a great anniversary!
Even tho' we are both broke from so many bills,
I got Happy Anniversary Balloons for her,
Doris got beautiful pink roses for me,
& we both got cards for each other.

Then we had a lobster & salmon dinner
at Charlie Brown's
(with her sister) that night on Fri
& yesterday on Sat we drove into the City,
had hotdogs in our RV,
people watched,
talked about when we first met
& all our years together,
then sealed it with a kiss
on the corner of Washington Square
where we had our 1st kiss
28 years ago on July 4th! ha.

Finally we called it a day & drove home,
turned on the TV, climbed back into bed
& felt SO lucky & blessed.

(Finally getting a house together
is the best thing we ever did
about 16 yrs ago.)

I am very happy!
Life is so good.

I say it every time...
Be it ever so humble,
& believe me Ours is modest-
there is just NO place like home!!!

And did I happen to mention
that Doris is STILL
so amazingly DAMN gorgeous
even now till this day???
She is just scrumptious!

I am so lucky.
Really REALLY lucky!

And, of course
so is she.


Thursday, July 16, 2009

Found my College Roomate!

I went to college back in the 60's. My roomate for the first 2 years was my best friend since the 6th grade, Tina whom I still love & adore to this day. Then she dropped out & got a job, then married.

So my Jr year I became a floor counselor for a freshman dorm & had no idea whom I would end up rooming with except it would be her 1st year. I had gotten there early & set up my side of the room & waited on pins & needles.

In walks Lydia. We looked at each other & both thought Oh No. We were about as different as night & day. I was a dumbass beauty queen with bleach blonde hair majoring in Drama & Speech & she was a no-nonsense really SMART, serious au natural girl studying to be a Nurse. She thought 'Oh God, I can Not do this with Her as my roomate.' I thought 'Well this isn't gona be any fun.'

We started chatting as she set up her side of the room, & ended up talking about our life stories all night long. By the time we finally passed out we had become friends.

The next day the dorm mother called me in & said she was moving me up to a different floor. They needed me there & so I said fine, but I'd like to ask my new roomate to join me if she wishes because I did not want to hurt her feelings & have her think I didn't want her. Plus I really LIKED her now.

So I went in to our old room & told Lydia what was happening, & she didn't have to, but would she like to join me? She didn't think twice & said definately! We immediately started gathering all our shit together & moved right on up to our new room! We became super roomies after that.

She was so wonderful & lots of fun. As different as we were, we always had tales to tell each other when we were back in our beds at night. We laughed all the time! She always listened to my problems & was a great sounding board. She was very studious & I was always partying. I so admired her brain & wished I was smart like her. In the end we had a wonderful friendship & loved each other.

It was sad when the school year came to an end and we each went our separate ways. I moved to LA, then on to NYC to fly. She eventually married her handsome boyfriend who'd been writing her thru college, they went into the Air Force & raised 4 beautiful children.
They now live back in Texas & I'm in New Jersey. I've wondered what happened to her for decades, but could never find her on the internet.

I was SO THRILLED to finally find her brother online, & he put me in contact with HER! OMG I could NOT BELIEVE I FOUND HER!!! We talked on the phone for an hour & a half & have started writing email & sending pictures. I can not tell you how happy this makes me!

I finally found my Lydie!!!

Sunday, July 12, 2009

bla bla bla

Here it is Sunday again! Thought D was gona stay home today because none of her choirs are singing, but no. Even tho she had mentioned that she didn't have to go to church, her sister called & off they went. sigh. I got really mad. But then got over it.
After all, I forgot I like Suns alone now.

My hip is still in pain when I walk or climb steps. I'm good when I come home from physical therapy but within 30 min the pain strikes again. Guess the icing wears off. I'm worried my company will try to fire me, I've been on sick leave since May.

I do however have plenty of sick time (probably 600hrs left now) as I don't abuse it. But you can't make much money when you don't fly, as there are no expenses or over time. I Always worked so much overtime to try to cover bills (probably why my hip's so screwed up!) But definitely I can't go back until (if) I get better. I have hope. I just hope they don't try to fire me.

It's fucking aggravating that I even have to worry about that type of bullshit after 41 motherfucking years of blood sweat & tears for this dumbass company. Managment are harrassing buttbrains. They suck. Please. Any horrid experience you've ever had flying on any airline, I can give you worse stories about working for the fuckers.

That being said, I still dig the job & am grateful my company has lasted this long, & that I've been able to keep my seniority. So many Flight Attendant's airlines bit the dust & they had to start all over again at the bottom of the heap. I don't know HOW they do it.

Changing the subject, the weather has been beautiful! Since it still rains so much at night it's been cool enough to not need airconditioning. So great. Since ours is b r o k e n.

Gotta go downstairs, get a bite & take vitamins. Have I mentioned how much I love Zoloft since I started it in May?!!!

Sunday, July 05, 2009

Sunday Mornings

Sunday morns have become such a favorite for me!
Since Doris retired 3 yrs ago she is home everyday.
She has the most gorgeous singing voice & faithfully sings in the choir every Sun. I did it with her for about 2 decades.

But it exhausted me as Black churches have l-o-n-g services, sometimes with breaks for lunch & a late afternoon service afterward. It always annoyed me we couldn't just go home & enjoy the rest of the Sunday together. Heck it annoys me we can't just spend the day in bed together with the Sunday papers & TV, but anyway...

I am a spiritual person, but sitting in a church building for the whole, damn motherfucking day really started pissing me off & did nothing to calm my furtive soul & bring me closer to "the Lord."

Not to mention, the fabulous American Black Gospel music is what I craved -so much better than the generic sound of white church hymns, even tho' many are the same from the same book!

Also the old spirituals are So mournful but beautiful. Then the choir director got it up his butt to only sing positive &/or new Christian songs, no more depressing or sad spirituals, just happy happy happy music. Well, I about started to loose it.

Jeese, that is not what I signed up for, Some of us LIKE the depressing songs showing how God brings us thru it all. If you are a depressed person all that hippity happity can really make you feel worse.

And as nice as the pastor is, his sermons are mediocre & the longer it goes, the louder he starts to scream & holler. Damn. Screw that shit.

So a year or so ago I just quit going to choir practice & also stopped church Every week. phew. What relief I felt since I worked so hard & so much, I hardly had any day off for myself. Church had become a job.

NOW, as soon as Miss Singing Johnson leaves, I charge back up to bed & revel in my solitude. I turn on "Moving Up" a tv show I happen to love, break out all the delivered Sunday papers & read the circulars, & pull out ye ole laptop & start catching up on blogs!

Then if she goes out to eat with her brother & sisters (who also have awesome voices & sing in the choir) I have time to either fall back to sleep for a lazy afternoon nap, or zoom to the the health club for the whirlpool, swimming, steamroom & wash my hair.

Either/or - it's all good. Just hanging here in bed alone is exciting because I don't feel guilty like I do after Doris awakens & rushes off to do chores or errands, etc. (She has SO much more energy than I.)

Oh, btw -yesterday, the 4th of July was so great!
Had the most delicious BBQ party at Doris' neice's big home with many family members. Delicious, yummy food!!!! FABULOUS!!!

Then Doris always wants to go to the NYC fireworks, but I hate it because I can't stand being in the middle of all the hundreds of screaming, stinky, sweaty drunks. GOD.

Well we started out late after the party, so we were caught up on the NJ turnpike enroute to the Lincoln Tunnel when all the fireworks started.

So we (& everyone else up there) pulled over to the side of a mile long bridge & just stopped for 30 minutes to watch it all with NYC as a backdrop! It was perfect, it was fabulous!!!! And we didn't even have to go into the City!!! OMG, so wonderful.

We we back home & in bed by the 1100 o'clock news!

Aaaahhhh. No place like home!
Life is so good.

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Had A Colonoscopy

I had a colonoscopy today.
Good fucking grief, I can barely walk now.
Just had a 2 hr nap, so I'm feeling a little better.

The worst part was the prep work yesterday which was beyond gross.

You stop eating & take 4 ducolax pills at 1200 noon.
Drink a ton of water.
At 500p you drink 2 yucky bottles of magnesium citrate which is SO horrid. Just nasty.
Drink tons of more water.

There's just gotta be a better way. uck.

Anyway then you're up all night shitting your brains out every 15-20 minutes. No sleep.
You feel totally sick, dizzy & weak.

At 0630a the next morning, you drink one last bottle of citrate magnesium & drink another ton of water. Gawd.

Then NO MORE WATER after that.

It's just wicked.

Went to the surgery center at 1000a,
& soon I was on O2
& knocked out with an IV of sleep juice, ha!
Then next thing I knew I was waking up
in recovery
& it was over!
Thank the Lord.

I staggered out to Doris who stayed to drive me home,
but not before the Dr. told me everything was FINE!

He had found nothing at all (no cancer, no polyps, no diverticulitis etc.), gave me pictures of my beautiful, clean colon & said go home, have a hamburger, don't ever eat cheese (damn.) & don't drive. Come back in 5 years.


Glory to God Goddess Universe!!!

I am so relieved.
I'm glad I did it, but even happier it's over.
Still out of it, going back to sleep.