Monday, March 30, 2009

I don't want to get sick.

Saturday was totally dreary so Doris & I stayed in bed all afternoon drinking hot tea, reading (her the papers, & me sTori Telling -someone left it on the plane- Tori Spelling has one bitch of a mother) & watching movies on the LMN channel. It was totally indulgent & very restful.

Eventually we went out for a VERY late brunch! Then picked up a few staples at the grocery & came directly back home, climbed back in bed & continued watching LMN movies. I couldn't believe she did that, Doris gets cabin fever so easily. I'm the one who can spend a few days lounging around since I'm so tired from flying.

Well anyway, the point I'm trying to get to is this:
Today I feel like I coming down with a freakin' cough & chest cold.
I mean - WHaT THE HELL?? I rested all day & my resistance didn't feel a bit down. Crap. I don't get it.

Furthermore, I forced myself to go to the gym today (it's been 2 weeks since the last visit- I am fat again, when I bend over to tie my nikes it feels like a whole basket ball is in my stomach.) Shit shit shit.

Anyway I thought the steamroom might help clear my lungs - which it did at first, but now I feel worse. Plus NOW my right shoulder is all cricked up from pushing the stupid machines & I can barely turn my head. I must be getting so feeble. sheesh.

So tomorrow I have to fly out & I have to try to fake feeling just super-duper, thank you very much. Fuck.
Now I'm trying to go to sleep.
I am definately going to need it.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Is This All There Is?

When i was young, growing up with my (adopted) family thinking I was so much different/talented/special/better which put me on a mission to prove. To show. To be all I could be. (maybe I shoulda joined the army, NOT.)
To get a taste of Who I could be on my own. away from them. so far & so free!

Such a thrill to soar into life on my own (or so I thought - all the years of love, devotion & hope they had for me plus their prayers every night for my well-being left me far from alone.)

Still with all that going for me I failed miserably at reaching the pinnacle of success, not to mention the victory of self-truth as I chose the wrong paths & got lost in sex, drugs & disco - wrong choices, wrong men, wrong directions & a few wrong women too.
A decade of delerious escape from old pain into new pain - still really more of the old oddly enough. more of the same.

what the hell.

I was more successful in life when living with my parents, & failed miserably once I made my great escape.
Why couldn't I succeed with my dreams? What stopped me from becoming my ambitious self. what caused me to retreat into oblivion to where I would finally slowly awaken in such a stupor i would never fully recover?

It's taken so long to be who & what I am now & it is still not enough... tho' it must be for the time being - as this is how far I've come. Until I figure out where to go next. Or even more - how to jolt myself out of my current status-quo.

Once you make your life & get somewhat 'comfortable' languishing in the 'safety' of sleepwalking thru the days, months, years - it is hard to change again.
Am I stagnant?
Am I just plodding along? (sorry Linda! Love that blog name!)
How do I once again just snap out of it & grow even further?
There is still much to learn.
Where do I go, what do I do next?
If I die tomorrow, this just can't be all there is.

Then again... Maybe I'll just roll over & go back to sleep. Such a luxury & really- sleep is so healthy.

Even if I pull myself out of bed & GO TO THE GYM
it will still be more of the same.
Aye yie yie.
Somebody push me!

Friday, March 20, 2009

A Meme From Deborah

Five names you go by:
1. Kathy
2. Kathlene
3. Aunt Kathy
4. Kathymae
5. KMae
(but when passengers ask my name I tell them "Gertrude P. Schlamowitz")

Three things you are wearing right now:
1. glasses
2. sleepshirt
3. nail polish

Three things you want very badly at the moment:
1. Energy
2. money
3. gay marriage legalized

Two people who will probably fill this out:

Two things you did last night:
1. drove home from the airport
2. picked up chinese food on the way

Two things you ate today:
1. 3 egg whites
2. chicken burger & sweet potato fries

Two people you last talked to on the phone:
1. brother Alan
2. Doris

Two things you are doing tomorrow:
1. going to the movies
2. munching butter popcorn

Two longest car rides:
1. Dallas to Banff Canada
2. Dallas to Boston

Two of your favorite beverages:
1. hot tea/w milk & sweetner
2. diet coke, but I stopped it & now try to drink lemon/lime seltzer

Monday, March 16, 2009

Mid March Malaise

So I guess no news is good news for me the past 2 weeks.
Nothin' much going on here.

Workin' hard for no money. Had Carter Osterhouse or what ever his last name is from the HGTV channel (Carter Can, Trading Spaces) onboard - that gorgeous carpenter. He was SO nice & unassuming.
And that guy who played the police chief on McMillan & Wife all those years ago. He also played Daddy Warbucks in Annie on Broadway & toured for 20yrs with that (he's bald now.) VERY nice.

I've been working with this young gay guy who cracks me up constantly & that truly gets me thru the long days on the plane. We've bid to fly together for 3 months now & I wonder how much longer he will be interested in continuing this since he's so much younger (43.) (I'm 61.) I think he misses his mom & I do feel motherly to most of the younger Flight Attendants - well that would be most all of them since they are all younger than I. Anyway I adore working with Patrick who is a true comedian & works FAST which is my favorite thing. So many are slow & often lazy.

So only one week after that huge snow storm I last wrote about, the weather turned warm &gorgeous the next Saturday. Doris & I took the RV into the City & had brunch at Manatus in the West Village (eb, thought about you & the Queen since we'd dined there once.) Then sat around & people watched for a few hours, drove around checking out how much the scene had changed from the last year, (God- everything keeps changing in NYC especially in the Village) got hot dogs at Gray's Papaya's (the prices there sure went up..shish) before returning home. It was a fun, glorious day, but the next day became cold again, & that continues on here in the East. The fact that spring is supposed to come on Friday will probably be a rouse. Can't wait for warm weather full time.

Been reading all your blogs! Carry on.

Monday, March 02, 2009


OMG!!!! Do you believe this snow????
I woke up at 0530a & can't believe my eyeballs!
It's a frickin' blizzard out there. And WINDY. WOW.
Looks like 5 inches so far & it's 18 degrees.
It's still dark & still coming down & is wet & heavy.
I am NOT looking forward to shoveling this mess -yikes.
But thank the Lord I don't have to work today, that's a YEA!!!
I'm feeling bad for Val, Pixie & Tina & wondering how it is for those in Conn. Dammmmn. Hope y'all get to stay home.
We got food, & water & HEAT!! We are blessed. Hope the TV & electricity stays good. Doris & I will hibernate today.
It's 0610 now. Think I'll roll over & try to go back to sleep.
ahhhhhhh. Smooshy pillows!