Oh my GOSH!!! Went to Weight Watchers today & I'm now up to loosing 49 lbs!!!
I just Can't believe it. If I can loose ONE MORE POUND, I'll make it to 50!!
See, this is the thing, altho' I should be satisfied at 49 lbs it is still just not enough. I like round numbers. I'm going for 50. I'm hoping it will only take one more week, but uhm, well it took forever to get off of 45 lbs to 46. Almost a month.
I had a bit of a problem with post traumatic stress because of the fucking newest terrorist plots & honeychiles, I ATE. It felt good to gorge. Damn I miss that.
However, I DO like the way I'm looking now that I got it back under to (so called) control. I'm starving tho'. I have to admit. sigh. I could eat everything in sight & I'd still be starving.
It's just that bottomless pit of wanting/needing comfort. It takes over my psyche like poison ivy spreading like hot spilled grease. OyeVey, such a deal...
I could eat a full meal & STILL feel that nawing sandpaper deep inside my gutt. Nothing can satisfy the hunger monster when I'm out of control with food. So I feel like I'm starving, even when I'm not...
When I lived in NYC there were great Overeater's Anomymous groups that were just for gays & lesbians, & also just for women. When I moved to Jersey, unfortunately the few OA meetings around were co-ed, as it were.
I went, but honestly just did not want to be bothered with men asking me out for coffee afterward. Sure I always, easily said no, but fuck - it was a pain in the ass. And I felt pissed there were no women's only meetings like the abundance offered in The City.
So 10 years & a lot of pounds later I am grateful I Finally got my fat ass to Weight Watchers meetings. And thank God, Goddess, Universe it is working for me.
Alleluia & Amen.
Now... If I can just not eat too much on the plane tomorrow when I fly. Perhaps I can maintain my current 2 lb weight loss for this week! sigh. Like all other addictions, one day at a time, Sweet (baby) (that's for you Elizabeth) Jesus.
Lord, thanks for the strength!