Doris was sheding a few tears thinking about Roxie's eyes just looking at her like, "HELP ME..." that day. Oh God. Now I'm haunted by that. I had just about talked myself into thinking she was alright making the transistion to heaven. But I guess my gut reaction was right, she felt betrayed & didn't understand. Oh God. My heart feels heavy. I did a horrible thing. Man. And just when I was starting to feel so much better. Bummer. sigh.
However I have to admit that Nov did bring some miracles. More miracles than usual in one month.
1: A big, 4 story high tree fell into the neighbor's tree & they took us to court because we didn't think it was our tree & we had NO money to take it down. The judge was nice to us & gave us time to try to get money together. I had never been in court before, so I had been so scared & nervous. But I suddenly knew things would be okay when walking to the court house door I saw about 20 sparrows hopping around on the grass & immediately thought of the song "His Eye Is On The Sparrow So I Know He's Watching Me." That judge was So kind. A miracle.
2: After huge quotes from $1500 to $4000 to take the tree down, God sent us a man who only charged $500.
3: There were holes in our roof & after huge quotes from $9000 to 10,000 God sent us roofers who only charged around $3400. A huge miracle.
4: After having to go back to court for the tree & neighbors, the judge said we didn't have to come back after Doris told him the tree had been removed. She meant it was removed from the neghbor's yard, Im afraid when the housing officer comes to check on it & sees all these huge 'tree turds' laying around in our back yard we might get in trouble for not removing those from OUR yard. Never-the-less we got to leave the court after only one hour & told we didn't have to come back. another miracle!
4. The telephone technition just showed up out of the blue on a SUNDAY of all days when he wasn't supposed to be there until the fri after Thanksgiving! A HUGE miracle! Plus - this guys ended up knowing us from church & didn't charge us the $300 we would have had to pay. Wow. Another huge miracle.
5: And lastly, I had to go back to work (I have been on vacation - yeah great vacation, huh?) on a 3 day trip yesterday with 2 legs a day, in coach on a crappy super 80. It was a Houston/Phoenix layover - flying back home to Ewr on the busiest day of the year before Thanksgiving. Ugh. Well, we were so delayed on the 1st leg, the 1st day that when we got to Chicago we missed our connection that night for Houston... So they ended up deadheading us to LGA & limo-ing us over to our cars in Ewr & NOT reassigning us, thus we have the next 2 days off!!! WHAT??? Never in 40 years had I gotten such a break at work! ANOTHER true miracle!!! WOW, amazing!
And in looking back it's a miracle that God brought us thru loosing Roxie 15 days ago, as well as all this other confusion. And if God was so merciful to us, surely God was as merciful & loving to Roxie if not more. We are truly blessed. Outside of having to put Roxie to sleep, this was the best November ever! I've been so down, I think I'll try to make a gratitude list each month from now on.