Sunday, April 30, 2006

Last Vacation Day

This is the LAST day of my so-called vacation,  Rats.  I'm annoyed, but that is only a waste of energy & still won't avoid the inevitable.  Boo hiss, piss!

Went to a wedding 2 nights ago, it was very nice, the bride looked beautiful, just exquisite.  Hets just don't know how lucky they are to have the option of getting married.  Shit.  I mean, REALLY!  Never-the-less I felt very happy for my friend & enjoyed myself. 

I did overeat.  But Then Doris & I got up & danced for 45 minutes without stopping.  Hopefully that will help keep any weight gain down. And quite frankly had I not lost so much, I doubt I could have kept going, although the music was GREAT!  It was all wonderful oldies. Black Disco stuff from the 70s, 80's.  The music of today doesn't hold a candle to the old Motown groove. The other day I was reading one of my many favorite blogs, & she listed all her favorite tunes.  I swear, I didn't recognize any of the names, then realized they were all old white groups. Geesh.  I mean, no offense, but SERIOUSly!  Both were good.

Yesterday Doris & I went to NYC & just drove around & hung out.  It was packed seeing it was Saturday & beautiful weather.  There was a huge peace march (ah, the more things change the more they stay the same...)  & there is the TriBecA Film Festival going on. 

It's hard sometimes to go to The City as my whole adult-youth was spent there & the memories always hit me left & right.  Talk about flashbacks.  It strikes me how much in the end I loved it so much, but was miserable that Doris wasn't there with me. 

I could have The City with Lesbians & Gays or Doris in NJ.  It was SUCH a struggle.  In the end, Love won out.  But it would still be great to have both.  Not to be, I'm afraid.  Not often, anyway.  So, here I am in NJ suburbia, a whole new life (well it's 10yrs old now) but still.  I had to (try to) grow up & make a choice in order to live with the Woman I love.  We had "lived together" in 2 separate residences for 15yrs.  However, Girlfriend wanted a HOUSE, so here we are 10yrs later... almost 25yrs together now.

Supposedly there are no mistakes in our lifetimes, we're all on our own learning paths in the school of growth.  But sometimes I wonder!  Clearly I did make many mistakes after leaving home & striking out on my own.  There are many choices I would change if I could take it all back.  Yes, I said it, there are MANY.  But, I guess moving out of the City is not one of them. I was lucky to have had 27 yrs living there!  If I HAD a ton of money, then I could still afford living In NYC!  But then, if I had money, I could live in a more fabulous house in a better neighborhood!  I THINK I would choose THAT, as the peace of the country is a sweet & wonderous salve for my psyche. 

Since I am busted, broke I shall have to just continue to "bloom where I am planted."  So far, so good.

1 comment:

jabz1965 said...

I think that's so great being together so long...I'm sure sometimes it might not seem that way. That's such a dilemma...being with the one you love or being somewhere you love...done it so often...that is why I am in Iowa still. Love won out...ain't it grand? LOL
Julie
blog:Lost Inside My Mind