Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Answering ?'s from Bi Friends

My Cyber bi-friend still had more ?'s for me.  She feels discriminated against.  I tried to explain further why lesbians don't want to hang with bi' women...

Oh you don't piss me off, it's okay.  The answer, tho is simple:  Look what
happened to Ellen...  Ann left her for a man.  She likes both.  
  The pain was enormous & definately NOT worth it.  I did like both in the
 beginning.  Loved both, actually.  I do think it's natural to be just sexual. -not
 hetro or homo.  But we all LEAN more in one direction than another.  That is
 what I feel makes the difference.  I loved men.  But I HAD to be with women. 
 And it wasn't easy.  The pain was just as bad in the beginning.  (Mainly
because I went with someone just like my mother... but Worse. )  Yet I STILL
 wanted to stay with her, I wanted to be a good lesbian.  Thank God, Goddess,
 Universe that I got out of THAT relationship.  What a bitch. I would have
probably stayed until she killed me.   And she hated that I had loved men.
     As for women hating men, that's simple.  They are just assholes.  Yes, there
are some that are good, & there are some women that are assholes too,  but
 quite frankly let's face it.  They are Loosers!!!!   Look at all the advantages
men, (esp WHITE men in America) are born into, the male privilege they grow
up with, the entitlement they Always feel...  And yet look how badly they have
fucked EVERYTHING up in the world, esp their women & children.  They are
to see thru, & they are easy to disdain.  Lesbian's can't stand them because
 they get all the advantages in this world that we don't.
  Fucking them for me was great!  I like sex.  But, Their emotional development
sucks. There are some I do like/love.  My brother.  A guy named Leonard. 
 Some gay men.   My father.  And Charlie, my ex, turned wonderful before he
died thru recovery & 12 step programs....  are some that come to mind. 
       So I don't totally hate them all.  They're here, we have to live with them. 
 But if the world were all women, I would not miss them.  Since it is not, I have
to learn to become tolerant of the motherfuckers.  But the majority disgust me. 
 And believe me, I've seen & known thousands in my 37 yrs of flying.  Patooie! 
 You can have them all!
     I really don't know what else to say to try to explain it.  If you feel you are
discriminated against in the same way as being a black person, perhaps you are
 right...  I relate in being discriminated against for being homosexual, being a
woman & being old now.  Ageism is for real.  And that will only get worse. 
      I become enraged when Doris is discriminated against because of her color. 
 In my opinion, she is one of the MOST beautiful persons ever!  Ignorance runs
rampant, probably always will.  So maybe all of this is just pure ignorance, as
each of our personal preference abounds.  I don't know.  *We can't change what
 we don't care to change.*  As for myself, I have too much to still work on
 personally before I come around to tolerance for bisexual behavior.  We all
need to be happy.  If living bisexual makes you happy, so be it!  I have known
you as a human being, not a sexual human being.  It is not really part of our
relationship.  I am not sexual with you, nor you with me.  To you, I assume that
is who you feel you are meant to be.  To me, it would be like sleeping with the
enemy.  I do not wish to do this.  If you do, then so be it.  We are on different
paths anyway, altho' we Do have some things in common. 
     I just wish you the best in all you want & do.  I wish for neither one of us to
be hurt.  And I enjoy our discussions, whether we agree or not. 

1 comment:

sunflowersnstone said...

when you said its like haning with someone that sleeps with the enemy that is when I truly understood what you meant. I guess before my mind was kind of closed because of my own feelings about feeling discriminated against. But when you said its like hanging with someone that sleeps with the enemy there was no way for me to deny the realness of what you are saying. No, I dont agree with it all but my goal was to see how you felt and I see that clearly now.

sometimes my own issues blind or deafen me to the truths of others. I hear you now though.

huge smiles of respect and admiration to you,
your friend, Aussie