Saturday, April 22, 2006

I Am a Bad Stepmom

I saw a terrible documentary about bad step parents last night.  God, it was awful.  The parents were hideous.  I'm so glad I didn't have children, at least I don't have guilt about fucking up innocent little beings. 

But the truth is, I am a bad 'step parent,'  & step grandma/auntie.  Doris' children don't live with us......  But I don't like 2 of them...  because I don't like the way they treat her or act toward me.  The third one is a good son & I love him.

The grandkids were great when they were young.  Growing up they are developing attitudes as all teenagers do.  The oldest (24yr) grand(daughter) has turned out very wonderful, even tho' she had a neglected childhood with a mom who had problems. 

Her mother spent the week with us earlier for the first time.  I was flying in & out & she also stayed with friends 1 or 2 nights, so there was never time to talk except for one night at dinner.  It was all very friendly, and this week she left a phone message to her mother with a hello to me...  the 1st time that ever happened in 24 1/2 years.   

Maybe it's not too late. 

I really wanted to ask her 'why didnt you return ANY of my 100 phone calls about your mother's surprise 70th birthday party in January?'  But I didn't.  She was reaching out to spend time with her mother & I wasn't going to sabatage that in any way.  It's important they mend their relationship. 

She also said she'd be back to stay with us in a few weeks...... Oh, joy.

I haven't mention the youngest son here because I have nothing nice to say about him.   He's manipulative.  I can go on ad infinitem about what a shit he is,  how he neglects & does Nothing for his beautiful boys,  how he's a user & takes total advantage of Doris whether it's asking for money,  or ordering the most expensive thing on the menu (lobster)when we take hime to eat, or runs up the phone bill when he's here,  how he lives off of women,  how he doens't work (well now he's supposedly working at a dress shop)  how when he comes to see his kids, he leaves them after 1 night & doesn't come back,  how the world revolves around him,  how he's the most pathetic looser ever.  I can't stand the mother fucker.  He makes me sick. 

 But Doris loves him unconditionally.  Of course.

These chidren of Doris' are all in their 40's.  PS: Doris never told me she had kids when we first got together, & I had never asked.  (dumb me.) 

Any fights we ever have are about the kids or grandkids.  It is impossible for me to just remain quiet when this is my life too. 

I always want to just be alone together, I think it's romantic.  And when we are it's so great.  Even when we're just watching TV or even just sleeping.  Especially watching TV or sleeping!

I admire these lesbians who have families & sucessful relationships too.  I have to wonder how crummy their sex lives must be.  There is Nothing like a problem child- or child with a problem - to kill the mood.  It's a hard job, being a mom.  I would have failed miserably. 

1 comment:

mystee4 said...

I think it's different when the kids are in their forties.  By then, they are who they are and it's normal to either love them or hate them (or something inbetween).  But I also know about a mother's unconditional love -- sometimes misguided though it may seem.   And sometimes unconditional love isn't healthy -- it's more about enabling bad behavior just because they're you're children.

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