I'm sitting here (D went to church,) taking inventory of 2006 trying to think of something uplifting because for some reason I could so easily slip into depression. (I'm trying not to panic here, let me stay positive.) I put on some good gospel music, that should help!
I find my own blog to be a great tool in the perspective of where I've been & where I'm going. Guess it's 'cause I don't remember much lately. Never the less, I've been reading back thru this year.
Guess I've done okay. But next year in 2007 I hope I get my money problems under control. It's ridiculous & embarrassing that at this age I am so broke. Also, I should go to dr's & a dentist, I've managed to go thru the year with good enough health not to bother. Not too smart, but better finances will help with that. Thank you God, Goddess, Universe for great health!!
I notice that not too many blog folks in relationships write about any problems they are going thru like I have. Surely their lives can't be ALL so happy & sunshiney? Then again, maybe they really are totally ecstatic with each other everyday!
I definately DO feel that way with Doris quite often, however I notice I tend to write more when I've hit those chords of discontent. Doris is just generally happy-go-lucky, outwardly sweet to everyone, always positive & feeling blessed. It is a great way to be... albeit a bit like living in denial for me. Ha. Wish I was more like her. I just think too much. She really tries more not to think, by constantly having TV or stereo going, sometimes both at the same time, (argh, too noisey for me...) or reading 2 or 3 daily newspapers.
She remaines calm to keep her blood pressure down, & I'd do well to learn that trick. I brood more & feel deeply.
She is really FUNNY & makes me laugh, which is the most important thing in a relationship as far as I'm concerned. That & trust not to be fucked around on. Hate THAT.
Doris can COOK! And she cleans like a white tornado in record speed! I burn hard boiled eggs & after I spend a whole day "cleaning up" the place still looks as messy & disheveled as ever.
Oh, and she is exquisitely beautiful & ALWAYS lookslike a fashion plate stepping right off the pages of Vogue. Even in her jeans. Me? I USED to be like that but prefer my baggy sweats & no makeup at this stage of life. (I do force myself to gussie up since she likes it, tho'.)
That is getting easier to do again since I've dropped all this weight. Which brings me to my greatest accomplishment this year... Getting rid of 53 lbs of dead flubber thru Weight Watchers & Curves. Now if I can just maintain this thru the next year & stay on 'lifetime member' I will be proud. I am so relieved not to appear fat to others, I was ashamed. Doris never made me feel bad about it, though. She always said she loved me no matter what.
Most the time I believed her. I just didn't love myself. It's hard to do, being such a perfectionist.
Tonight we are going to a New Year's Eve dinner party down the street at the home of nice gay men! I am looking fwd to it. They have it every year, & the people there are always nice & mainly from the Gay church, MCC. It's a GREAT way to start out the new year!
Happy New Year, Y'all!
Be safe out there.