Today is Father's Day so I should write about how I loved my Daddy. He was a good provider & worked really hard, altho' he was out of town alot on business. (Or so he said...) Also he didn't communicate much, being a quiet type of guy, he prefered reading, listening to classical music, & photography. So actually he was often like a vapor. He never paid any attention to my mother, which I now recognize was his power trip with her since she was so very difficult. Whereas she screamed at the top of her lungs like a banshee when she'd get pissed off (which was all the time,) he was quite the opposite, very even tempered & calm. Aloof actually.
I found a way to get to him, tho' - to get his attention, & THAT was to be his photography subject. So I grew up in front of his camera & my life is chronicled in wonderful slides (remember those?) from the day they brought me home from the adoption agency until I left at 21 & struck out on my own in NYC!
More than that, tho' - I amused him & he found me rather adorable. When I'd come into the room his eyes would soften & a sweet smile would start to spread across his face. Not a lecherous smile, just a pleasant, loving glance up from his nightly newspaper. He enjoyed me more often than naught.
When I was little I would run to jump into his arms. I could barely stand it when he could no longer lift me up around 4 yrs old. He was a short man & I had become too heavy.
One Valentine's Day Daddy died at the young age of 68. I remember the last time I saw him that year. He was dropping me off at an airport in California & he leaned across the front seat to hug me goodbye. It became a long, lingering (for him, as he was Not demonstrative) hug where a cop banged on his car window for him to hurry along. My father was mad & said something like "oh damn him,"... I think he knew it may be the last time we'd see each other. I kissed his cheek & jumped out of the car saying, " bye Daddy, thanks I love you," he said "I love you too," & smiled a sweet, yet wistful smile.. I slammed the door & merrily rolled my suitcase into the terminal looking forward to getting back to my world in NYC. Little did I know I'd never see him alive again.
I miss my little ole' Daddy, he was SO smart & very successful in business. I talk to him a lot & thank him for all he & Mother did for me. There are things I could say about him that were not so great. But I prefer to speak about the goodness of his heart from the goodness of mine. I loved my Daddy!