I've been somewhat depressed forever. Being in recovery - I have 27yrs clean & dry- I have resisted taking any meds for this. However, I finally started a course of Effexor. I took 1 for 2 days & it rendered me catatonic. I realize now that it takes 4days to a week for your body to adjust to it & around a month to start making a difference...
If any of you take antidepressants I would appreciate feedback. You can email me at KMB524@aol.com if you dont want to leave a comment.
Here is part of a letter I wrote a friend who takes it, loves it & was coaching me...
FORGET IT! I can not function like this on the plane. So I have today & tomorrow to TRY to get it back together again & NOT take any more effexor. I have to be really ALERT inflight in case of emergencies or (please God no) terrorism.
Seriously... I think if someone had a heart attack today I would just look at them, blink & stare in a stupor. If I had to evacuate a plane I would be doing it in slo-mo. - I think everybody else's exits would be evacuated before I even get my door opened.
I just simply can not function in my world like this, I don't have the time to get accustomed to this drug. I really wanted it when I started, but I'm thinking the universe is telling me Stop It Now!
I have another 2-week vacation in April. Perhaps I shall try again then. Or not... but probably I will. I'm wondering & hoping that if I don't take effexor today or tomorrow will I be back to normal on tue when I have to fly again?
I've been handling my depressions (albeit not well at times) almost 3 decades without drugs, so I'll just hang in there. I really wanted a magic pill to make me "happier" (I actually AM a happy person most of the time, or should I say most of the day...) I knew I should be careful about this because that is exactly what every drug addict or drunk is going for... numb the pain of life & be happy.
I actually admit I enjoyed the last 2 days laying around zonked out, not giving a shit. I felt great abandon & relished it because I knew I couldn't move, so what the hell...
But I can lay around all day 'out of it' with great abandon without an antidepressant & I DO a lot. The difference is I am laying around depressed (well, I have to take in to consideration that I am EXHAUSTED from work & cabin pressure & SO disappointed I can't afford to retire.)
But of course, then I HAVE to Rally & get up, put on makeup to go back to work. Then, once I'm there with so many wonderful Flight Attendants (okay about 1/3 of them are probably on antidepressants themselves!) I actually enjoy the job, the FA's & many of the psgrs (probably many of whom are taking antidepressants, too!! ha!)
Anyway, I actually feel I would be irresponsible if I went back to work on Tue feeling like this - so out of it & dizzy. I definitely wouldn't be any fun to work with & I'd be trying to dash around in a haze. It does help me understand those FA's that do take antidepressants. I work VERY FAST & they have a hard time keeping up with me. Now I know why.
I know you are grateful you had the time to go thru this & come out on the other side! I feel a bit dishonest in trying to live my life drug free (clean & dry for 27 yrs) that I took Effexor then felt SO drugged for the past 2 days. But intellectually I recognize that depression truly is a disease & there is no sense In living with it if one doesn't have to with all the help (drugs) there is out there.
I guess I'll just continue to tough it out, at least for now...
Hey! Did I mention this not only numbed my mind, it also numbed my APPETITE??? Damn. I sure could have used That side effect.