Tuesday, February 27, 2007

I'm Cranky

Okay, I'm dissappointed.  Seems there are some folks from the blog meet that don't want their pictures posted.  I have been waiting, just dying to see all the pics of the crazy, fun weekend I missed.  sigh. 

Why, I wonder- would I not want my picture posted with all these wonderful women?  Thank GOD I don't have to worry about folks knowing I'm a lesbian.  Gee whilikers, that's a heavy albatross - having to hide the real me. 

Well, let it be known to all the bloggerdykes that they all look like Goddesses in my imagination.  If pictures never get posted I'll just have to close my eyes & imagine. 
But damn.
I'm annoyed.

I get that way with Doris wanting to stay in the closet when we go to church.  She just doesn't think it's necessary to be a screaming "out" dyke.  Of course, everyone there KNOWS we're gay & they are nice to us.  Still, it's not a gay church, so she doesn't feel comfortable.  She would have done well in the army with the 'don't ask don't tell' policy. 

Not I.  I am PROUD to be a dyke.  And anyone, including any job, boss, preacher, teacher, neighbor, family -whomever- that doesn't like it can just shove it up their ass & twirl.  It get's me angry that we have been made to feel so scared & inferior to have to hide our true essence. 

But that's just me. 
And I'm old.
And cranky.
And I just say FUCK that shit.

However, Doris prefers that I don't fly the Rainbow Flag at our front door.
So be it.
I put up a double red heart wreath on the side door.
Compromise.  It beats a lonely bed.
heh heh.
I'm cranky, not crazy.
- well usually not.

It's just that with meeting Max & Elizabeth (which by the way I would NOT have recognized had I NOT seen their PICTURES from their blogs... aHEM!...) well - I was just SO FREAKIN' EXCITED to see everyone ELSE I missed that I could hardly contain myself.  I get like that.  I was way up, high on excitement ~ now the wind is out of my sails.  Maybe I'm bipolar.  I'll get over it.  WhatEVER.  I think it blows.


jabzz1965 said...

AMEN! I wish I was able to meet you Kmae cuz I wouldn't care at all! I understand what you are going through. Cindy is not out to her family and even her straight friends don't really know with the exception of 1. Cindy came home and told me she told her mom a fib about how we met and she felt so bad and of course I tease her and say.."I guess I've known you longer than I thought!" She says when her mom goes then she won't care who knows and I think that's probably true. Her mom loves me and has never questioned why I've been here for 2 years and shouldn't I be looking for a place of my own? In fact, no one has in her family.

I am even out at work to my boss and my co-workers. It makes me laugh when I found out the woman I replaced was a lesbian minister. We are everywhere! LOL

Hang in there Kmae!

bentfabric77 said...

Check your email :)

kmb524 said...

Bent!- Thank you!!!
You're gorgeous!!!
Crazyass Woman!

Julie- GEESH, i KNOW what you mean, what a dRAG.

sassyfemmect said...

Okay chill woman, I just have to edit a few pictures.  BTW, for some people it's not that the don't want to be identified as being a lesbian, it's that they don't like the way they look in pictures, Fran is a perfect example of that.  It's purely self image, nothing at all about sexuality.

kmb524 said...

Good to know, Sassy.  Hard to understand.