Yesterday I started my 39th year with the airline I work for. On Oct 24th,1968 I stepped out of a car from LaGuardia Airport onto 14th St on the edge of Greenwich Village in New York City in front of a high-rise apt where I would be living with 8 other new Stewardesses!
I turned native the minute my feet hit the asphalt! It was thrilling to see steam filtering up thru holes in the streets, just like the movies!! Imagine my surprise when I found out it was from the sewers.
We were sweet, naive & I was so innocent back then. It was wonderful to live with black, white, brown, yellow - all different people together, getting along, very different from where I'd grown up.
Marching around with hundreds of strangers everyday, it was easy to hide, an odd type of annonymity - nobody knows you, nobody even looks at you! You don't have to wear makeup or even smile. A welcome relief coming from modeling thru my youth, then beauty pageants after highschool for college scholarships, trying to proove I was worth loving & knowing. It was comforting just to blend in with the crowd & not be noticed.
I'd become a Stewardess to get to NYC to study jazz-ballet on Broadway with Luigi ! I was excited & looking forward to that. Here I was, a young career girl, far away from my family (couldn't WAIT to get away!) on my own living in the Big Apple! I loved my new job & all the fun people I worked with. I thought I was so grown up.
Soon all my roomates were dating & having sex. I'd wait up all night for them to come home & beg them to tell me all about it, tell me everything! Finally they told me to "just go out & get laid, for God's sake.." I had missed my boyfriend back in Texas. We were together thru college, but I was saving sex for when we got married.
Finally I was given a trip to Houston, I called him to pick me up at the airport & we could barely wait to see each other!! That night we finally went "all the way" much to his shock after waiting for so long. I was estatic & so in love, couldn't wait to see him again! Got another flight to Houston two weeks later & raced to call him & give him the news!
Well, he wasn't there. He'd flown to Hawaii with another girl to LIVE. Seriously.
I was heartbroken & went into complete shock. Not to mention, plummeted into the first of many clinical depressions to come. How could this have happened to me? After all 4 long years of loving & trusting this boy? Especially after finally giving myself to him totally? I started to begin to doubt there was a God. If there was a God, why did so many bad things happen in the world? Not just this, but all the other Really horrible things. What was fair about life? I also started to loose faith in everything I knew & believed about myself. I lost focus & started floundering. I wasn't even 22yrs old yet.