Tuesday, May 23, 2006

My last day as 58

This is my last day as 58.  Just flew in LATE last night & am simply laying around.  Flight Attendants on my trip gave me a beautiful Bday card & we all had sugarless jello, they said they knew I wouldnt eat cake on my ww diet.  It was all very thoughtful.

I remember celebrating birthdays with Daddy when I was young.  Today is his birthday, they used to say they got me for his birthday since his is the 23rd & mine is the 24th.  But Im thinking I was at least 3 months when they recieved me for adoption.  That would be late Aug or early Sept.

Summer birthdays were always the best as a kid!  Growing up in Texas, it was always warm...  Wonderful weather for parties & fun!  Here in the east, it's still very cool, cold at night.  Alan's bday is in June, so he still gets to have warm weather for his bday.  He is 2 yrs younger than me, & tho' I was miserable about adopting HIM on my 3rd bday, I love him so much now.  The story about that is in my archives last year. 

Driving home from the airport last night, I felt sad about not doing anything great with my life.  I prayed to be shown the way to be the best me.  I feel like I wasted so much time since I haven't accomplished big things.  And I feel like a failure because I am so broke at a time I should be starting to relax & enjoy getting older.  Instead I have to work extra hard to (not even) break even. 

Most women my age are not so pulled & streched from each end.  Perhaps because the majority have husbands with great incomes that enable them to have more time off.  I'm sure I could have gone that route.  But then I wouldn't have been able to be the real me. 

Sometimes even now Im not clear who that is, but one thing for sure- I am definately happier with women than with men.  yikes, blaa!  It would not have been worth being the wealthiest woman ever, as an apendage of a husband, because I would have been seeing women on the down low anytime I could have.  Much better to be an honest, hard working lesbian & happy in bed each night!



nfluxus said...

Happy birthday chick!!

Being true to yourself is one of the greatest achievements in this life. There are lots of miserable people who appear to do 'great' things. As for money, Max and I will probably still be working when we're 58. There are lots more people who have to work all their lives than don't. That's too bad and not really fair but, all you can do is hang in there.

syd888 said...

Happy Birthday, darlin.

nursepam2001 said...

If you have loved and cared for others, been a good friend, a good partner, a good sister, and a good daughter, then you are living a perfectly good life.  Many who have money will tell you that in the most important ways, it didn't really make their lives any easier.  (((hugs)))  & Happy Birthday!