Sunday, November 01, 2009

A Big Lesson To Learn

I can't believe so much time has gone by since I last posted. I've been held hostage by facebook. My Flight Attendant friends (who are NOT privey to this blog, btw) joke about how I'm on fb every minute of the day. Well it's their fault cause they make me laugh so much & who wouldn't like that??? We're a crazy lot, & often only WE can understand our mania. I miss them, but not so much the work.

I also miss flying with the stars. Tried making a list of all I've met on fb in the notes section & erased the whole thing TWICE. Guess I'll start it with an actual pen & paper. How quaint. Gotta begin writing them all down before I forget who they were... which oh well, too late - I already have...

So here are bullet points to begin my review, not in any kind of order...

Still on sick leave for burcitus & hip pain , which is coming back as the cortisone shots are already wearing off. Also my feet are wrapped up for plantar fasciitis in arches & bone spurs in both heels. I'm hobbeling. It's all made worse from 50 lbs I've put on from not being able to exercise, & well basically eating anything I want.

It's shameful & I'm extremely embarassed when I pass a mirror & see my butt high-up on my back & feel my gut laying in my lap under my giant 38DD boobs when seated.. Good God WHAT have I done to myself. I should know better, & I'm so irresponsible for fucking myself up physically so royally. So ashamed.

D & I went to a funeral in Delaware of her good friend who finally succumed to Lou Gerrigs Disease. She was a prisoner in her body which had totally broken down - couldn't swallow, eat, talk, walk, type & drooled constantly. She was SO miserable. She was 61. She helped raise D's 3 children while they were partners for 6 yrs, decades ago.

I never cared for her much, actually couldn't stand things that she did which were often illegal & fucked up. I had worked hard on myself thru the years trying to be a better person & one thing I felt strongly about was 'do NOT hang around others that do fucked up shit...'.. I wont mention examples here there's no reason to now...

But she did eventually meet a great woman to make a good life with & who helped her get better, & she become excellent in many ways.

She/they adopted & fostered many children who LOVED her. They were all there at the funeral grieving her loss. Her forte' was nurturing each of them & obviously they adored her for it! She has done more with her life for that than I'll ever do with mine... Big lesson for Ms Judgemental Me.

I learned a lot from that & was finally able to respect her, no matter how I'd felt about her bs in the past. My lesson is that no matter what I think about people, they can still grow to do great things & be of wonderful service to others. Imagine that!

I have also learned this from D's pusshead brother who was not such a great prize in my estimation. Now he is helping many elders in the church & has become a good 'pillar of society', even tho' I totally observed him screwing his mother, father & sisters in the past. I enjoy being around him now, but I can't forget the pain he caused those I loved. Guess I'll have to get over it, as everyone else has & they are all just so happy to have him back in their lives.

Went out to a lesbian/gay party for halloween, was a Witch (obviously don't need Halloween for that!), D was Sherlock Holmes & carried a big magnifying glass. so adorable. Couldn't wait to get home & watch Monk at midnight. My God, I have become SUCH an OLD FART... Hope D stays around because there doesn't seem to be much I can to to even WANT to change... I'm tired from all the hard work from the past 41 years & feel a big need to just relax & do NOTHING.

Oh which brings me to the most important landmark... Started my 42nd year with my airline on Oct 24th. Wow. So glad I'm still alive, albeit limping along at the moment! I'm SO grateful for all the blessings God, Goddess, Universe has bestowed upon me thruout these long, often tedious, magical years! Thankyou Jesus!



Val said...

yeah... i noticed that you're a FB junkie, alright!
But it's nice that you post here every once in awhile, cuz I still check here..
next time put those nasty feet pics at the BOTTOM of the post, will ya?!!! Jeesh!
Only feet I like are Linda's! ;)

Feel better and get back to the gym. you KNOW you can do it!

KMae said...

HAHA! I dont know how>> And I dont know to erase the 2nd one under it.

Hey my feet are gorgeous next to Doris'... Her hands however are fabulous!