WOW! I am old! Holy crap I'm 61! My brain doesn't feel that way as I still don't know what the hell I'm doing in life from day to day. BUT my freakin' back went out on my flight 2 days ago so my body is feeling decrepit. Therefore this birthday is a bit of a downer, altho' I KNOW this pain isn't permanent as it is getting less each day.
I used it as an excuse Not to go to church today & just lay around & rest. Also I shall be missing a bbq after church that as much as I LOVE that food, I really need to stay away since I'm back to loosing weight. (Oh gee, 3 big lbs in 3 weeks -woo!)
I've totally neglected my blog since I started my cool, new website for our WW group. It has helped keep me focused & working hard. In fact I'm thinking maybe all that time I've spent on the treadmill & machines (6 out of 7 days ea week) is what jostled my back so much that it went out more easily when we hit turbulence in flight. (probably nOt!) I just really don't understand why this happened since I thought my body'd be stronger with all this working out at the gym. Guess it will just take time to actually get stronger. Hopefully.
So when I got home from the airport Doris had beautiful pink roses, 3 great balloons & 2 mushy, fabulous cards waiting for me on the kitchen table! The next morning she called me from her car place where they told her she needed a new tire (socked it to her in the tune of $200.) We met for brunch at Perkins then went to a few stores, then home, then back out to Charlie Brown's for my birthday dinner (which she couldn't even afford to pay for since she had to put out all that money for the stupid tire.) She really had wanted to go into the City to see fleet week & all the sailors & ships. Hey, wait a minute, this is MY birthday damn it.
Afterwards we just came home & eventually crawled into bed. Jeese I was SO tired that I couldn't even stay awake to midnight & went to sleep at 1130pm. Huh??? I'm always up 'till 0300am.
On turning 61, I am grateful I'm still alive & basically have good health, the bad back isn't permanent, at least not at 61 yet! I have a job I don't hate & I'm not depressed today. It has been really hard trying to deal with all the Debt Doris has accrued, actuallymaybe I should say trying NOT to deal with it.
My fear is possibly loosing the house eventually, but probably that wont happen as I can still pay the mortgage ea month. Good thing I still have a job, but internally I feel it's not fair. I have broken out with itchy hives here & there, & I know it's my rage at all this popping out thru my skin. On the surface, I still love & adore Doris, but underneath I do have obvious (Seething!) resentments.
I'm not going anywhere tho', sticking here with her to the end. I finally figured out what the hell... if we do loose our home (small & humble as it is) we can always move back into an apartment or rent a house, or go to a senior citizen's building. Life will still go on.
The important thing is LOVE & good health. Seriously. Everything else is just ICING on the cake of life! An when you thing of it, every new day is a birthday of sorts.