Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Real Loving. Not.

Good grief, it's been awhile since my last entry.

I've just been working. hard. alot.
Basically I've been good.
But now I'm broke because I spent too much this month, so that's depressing. Then, I came merrily home from my flight last night just to find out Doris took Roxie's crate out of the pet's room & threw it out back.

I was crushed. Heartbroken. PISSED. IRATE. PHSYCOTIC. I had told her I'd do it when I felt ready to let it go, I had taken comfort in it & her little toys & bowl inside. I know it's nutty. But I'd been doing so well since that fateful day on nov 10, I didn't want to rock the boat.

Now I've been a raging lunitic all night & day, & then had a bit of a meltdown in the bank today when I found there was no money in one of my saving's account. (I had $89 in one & found out it was below some kind of limit, thus the bank had taken out $4 ea month for SO long there was only $17 left in it.) Plus I was scraping the bottom to get the mortgage paid this month. So I told the teller 'it wouldn't be so bad if my girlfriend wasn't such a shit.' Then the tears started to fall, I told her 'my dog died & she threw out her cage' then I started to ball.

She handed me THREE kleenex's which made me laugh "do you keep these back there for people who find out they have no money left?' We laughed. Then I had to stand in another line to close that damn savings account where I just cried more & more into the kleenex. Another teller across the floor said, 'Kathy are you okay?' I nodded yes & kept crying. Man, I just lost it. Thank God I wasn't on the plane. Damn.

So Doris & I aren't getting along last night & today. We're yelling, screaming at each other. We normally don't do well in Dec because of her son & other relatives coming here. But that hasn't even happened yet. So wish me luck. If we come apart in the next two or so weeks I won't be surprised. Right now if she walked out the door, I'd be fine. Buhbye!


I am pissed & hurt. She thinks she's done nothing wrong. Technically I suppose she hasn't, but how can she not know this would set me off? She just didn't care. Probably wanted it out to make room for her damn visiting deadbeat son & the others. They can all go to hell. Together.


JulieB said...

Hey K...
I would be upset too and it shows she didn't think how you would feel about it. That hurt takes over and rules your life. I know when Cindy wanted Odie, the new dog, I told her I didn't think he should have Cody's old toys as they were special to him. These damn relationships are so hard. Hang in there girl...
Love you!

KMae said...

Thanks Julie.
I keep looking for an update on your blog "Lost Inside My Mind" at
It is one of my favorites for sure.
Hope you have happy holidays.

the only daughter said...

I'm sorry you and Doris are not getting on very well right now. I hope the situation improves sooner rather than later.