Thursday, July 12, 2007

2 Weeks Later

Good grief, it's been 2 weeks since my last entry.  I've flown 3 trips since my buddie's last retirement trip, which was bitter sweet.  I think I'm REALLY ANGRY & I feel left behind somehow.

Of course, it's my own damn fault (well, & Doris' fault too) that my financial situation is basically fucked & I have to keep working.  Mainly really Doris' fault.  My credit card bills are not insurmountable, I can pay them (there are only 3) slowly.  D's, well forget it.  Don't really see a light at the end of that tunnel.  We just don't answer the phone when creditors call. 

Our 26 yr anniversary is coming up fast & I had wanted to get legally hitched on that date, but am too afraid I shall then be responsible for her bills if something should happen to her.  For sure they could take the house as both our names are on the deed whether we get civilized or not.  It's sad.

I have been eating again, shoving down feelings with food, but AT LEAST I have not gone back to chocolate, ice cream, cookies & sugar.  Am doing carbs, bread & too big portions.  I shall stop this too.  Dammit.  And I gotta start exercising again, but it's too swelteringly hot, plus I'm cranky & tired.

Okay now you see why I haven't written.  bitch bitch bitch.  sigh.

I flew back last night with huge, long gate holds & delays due to weather & got in around 0300a.  I'll be better when I get more sleep.  Also I'm going to WW tonight even tho' I KNOW I'll be over my weight limit &  therefore have to pay for the meeting.  Whatever.  Life goes on.

Okay, WW went okay, great in fact..  I lost .8 of a lb.  YEA!  that's almost a lb.  phew!  Didn't have to pay after all!  Well, I'm in a better mood, now!


dghtronly said...

I was wondering what was going on with you. I'm sorry that you are feeling down and are eating again. Your spirits will likely rise when you are able to get some rest and are able to get back on your regime.

I'm keeping a good thought for you. Stay UP!


val41221 said...

I, too, am keeping good thoughts for you.  You can do it!  

nfluxus said...


That's all I have to say. Also, we'll be in NYC on Monday, Oct. 15 if you and/or Doris can drive in for breakfast, lunch or dinner. Our treat. Let me know.


sassyfemmect said...

KMae, were you by chance walking through JFK airport the morning of July 12? Probably somewhere between 7:30-9:00ish?  We were standing in the security line and someone who looked sort of like you, in flight attendant uniform, walked by us the other way, with another person.

kmb524 said...

Thank y'all for the good thoughts.  Sassy, no I wasn't at JFK, I hate that airport, plus it  is too far from Jersey.  EB, love you too, remind me again in Oct - you KNOW we'll come in if Im not flying.  Val & Deborah Thanks for the strong support.