Oh gosh. sigh. Don't know what happened, I WAS sorta doing well, but I forgot to take my meds one day, then I went down into the dregs of paralysis & suddenly balked at putting up the xmas tree.
I just couldn't stand to think of it. It was a skinny little $15 twiggy tree because I refuse to spend a ton on the trees anymore. And the bigger the tree, the longer it takes to light & decorate it. Luckily Doris put it up in the stand for me (after muttering her 'you can't do anything', she likes to tell me this regularly..)
The truth is I am sick of doing it all MYSELF with the Christmas decorations inside and out. This I CAN do. The other truth: I can't do anything else. ha! I actually can't. I vacum well. Can not clean, cook, wash clothes or dishes... So she IS right about all that.
So after D put the tree up in the livingroom, I put the lights on, then took 2 days decorating it. Now I need to add tinsel & it's done. I am sorta sad I got such a small. skimpy tree now as I KNOW I am fabulous at this, but just am sick of it after all these years.
ONCE I went for a decade with out a tree & didn't miss it. But since buying the house 16 yrs ago, got back into decorating. At first it was wonderful to have a home to celebrate holidays in, so romantic - my Babe & I !
All too soon I realized W_R_O_N_G !! Kiss those days GoodFuckingBye. Children, Grandchildren, Sisters, Neices & Nephews. GAWD Almighty. Such a DRAG. So NOT romantic. Shit fuck piss.
So OKAY. I got into it, best I could - which was pretty damn great with all the photo albums I made each year for everyone, & they DID appreciate it. Quit doing that 4 years ago when the money got cut down after 9/11. anyway, don't miss doing that, it's a relief in fact.
And I was doing the decorating & other presents for the grandkids when they were young. They are old now. They have their own lives even tho' they still come by & stay.
And then there is always that fucking Herman. Her youngest whom she loves so much & I absolutely detest his LAZY deadbeat ass all over the livingroom couches, watching MTV videos & using the phone as much as possible.
And of course he doesn't come if D doesn't send him a bus ticket to get here. He's 46 for fucking sake. I hate him. He's nothing but a bullshit con artist. But he IS part of her & she wants him here & doesn't want me to argue about it. So I gotta just eat it & go with the fucking flow. Oye fucking vey. What ever. Breathe.
Maybe this is why I suddenly froze about putting up the tree. Thank GOD I never had children to dissappoint the shit out of me. I'm so brilliant.
5 comments:
We got tired of the tree thing too. Now we have a table top tree that is already lit and I put some ornaments on it. I've never really liked taking the time to put up a tree and decorate the whole thing. It's a lot of work.
I'd hate having the deadbeat son around too. Can't she compromise and every other year have a family free Christmas. Or she goes and visits instead of the visitors coming to you?
Ah kids that don't do anything.. terrible.. I'm sorry you had to do it yourself. By the way.. I would worry with those lights around the TV =)
-Paul
http://www.mostlygrocery.com
Not sure if you mean to be but you are seriously a very funny gal! I LOVE reading your posts, you are so open and honest, good and bad :) I like what eb said about the table top tree. Maybe that's an option for you. Trees are a lot of work takes me about two days to get it all done. I was married to a dead beat that didn't do crap. He is about $30,000 in child support debt which I will never see. Yuck, the though of him makes me physically sick, I SO understand your frustrations and sickness over it. Hope you feel better soon!
Theresa
oh my little twinnie, how I LOVE this post! I think you are totally allowed to diss the tree shit! It always takes me so damn long to get in the spirit because of the fake sincerity of alot of people, not to mention the commercialism...but alas I came to life a little early this year. But damn am I ever glad when it's over. What would happen if we didn't put up the tree? WHen the kidlet was little, I only had a tiny tabletop tree. Those were the days! LOL You did good! You ARE fabulous at it!!!! What a woman!
If I didn't have my Liv, I would be fine with no tree. But...you know how it is. It might be halfway fun if Bing would take part in the decorating but she never does.
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