Whatever

Oh my Gosh,
   I just don't understand...
Why the hell are thing so great when we are NOT around her family???  Just wondering.  Because it fucks up EVERY holiday ever in the world.  Honestly... 

I am a romantic.  I USED to think holidays were always SO special & a great romantic sorta celebration between just 2 dykes.  And it used to be.  Until Doris & her ready-made dysfunctional family.  She just LOVES to be around them all.  Since I, myself came from crazy-ass family dysfunction, I never understood why people are always SO drawn to that insanity every year. 

And I always used to have SUCH romantic holidays with all my boyfriends in the past & then all my gilrfriends up until Doris.  In the beginning of our relationship, I mistakingly thought that Doris would eventually tire of all the family dynamics & be grateful to have special holidays with her Lover.  Boy was I wrong. 

It took a few years for ME to adjust, since she didn't.  I started taking pictures of all the family gatherings & finally  got into it by basically becoming the family historian.  Every Xmas I give them all 8X10 photo albums of the entire year & it's become quite a tradition. 

Actually, it will be invaluable after Doris, myself, & her Sister's die as all the memories will be recorded for the grans which will be all grown up, maybe with their own kids, continuing the whole nutcase process in their own way. 

Unfortunately this year I am broke & in debt, so I may not be able to do such grand Xmas presents...  I have not even gotten the film developed yet.

So far I have been so upset, that I am not even stressing over it yet, as I had just been trying to get thru the visitations/home invasions & feeling unappreciated by my dearest Love.  Guess these things will never change..  I just have to learn to live with it...  Blood is thicker than water & all that yada yada yada shit.

So to have had these days be so good, to have my old life back, to be shouted to "I LOVE YOU" down the asile in the middle of Target today gave me back some balance.  Yay!  She is so much fun when it is just us, together. 

But have no fear, the looser son is still around & will undoubtably be back...
However for the past week he's been off doing "his thing," whatever & whoever that is.  And it's been so much better!

In fact, it just occured to me that I passed my 26th anniversary clean & dry on Thanksgiving.  I had felt so much stress that  I could barely focus on staying sober & not picking up...  booze, drugs OR food!  So anyway, I made it another year!  Bravo for me.

BTW, I just can't believe all the blog entries I've missed over the past week...or 2 or three.  How is it possible that life goes on when I'm so miserable???  hah!  Just kidding.

So get a load of THIS......
I burned my damn hand & arm..
On a flight from Lax to Ewr..
Serving hot, greasy steaks,
I don't know what happened, there wasn't even any turbulence.
I had 2 entrees on my tray, on my way out of the galley & I banged into a wall (big spaz) & hot steaks fell all over me onto the floor, but the burning GREASE just seared into my skin, all over my apron & blouse, & it hurt like a motherfucker!! 
I immediately threw my whole arm into the ice drawer & kept it there for 15-20 min, called the #5 from the back to come up & help the other flight attendant while I tried to deal with the burns.
I went to a care center the next morning (it was around 0200am when I got home.)
The Dr. put some creme on it & wrapped my hand & arm as blisters had formed. 
I was then taken off my trip for that day (I was to have flown 4 days in a row.)
I go back on monday to get it checked. 
So meanwhile I am resting & getting well!
Hence, I finally had time to add a new blog entry.

Sorry about all the complaining.  I think my online journal has become as boring as some of the others I got tired of in the past!  Unfortunately my bitching may well continue thru the whole month of Dec, ARE YOU KIDDING??  How 'bout forever.  I guess I'll have to try (another) New Years resolution to be More Positive...  Next year.  grin.