Saturday was totally dreary so Doris & I stayed in bed all afternoon drinking hot tea, reading (her the papers, & me sTori Telling -someone left it on the plane- Tori Spelling has one bitch of a mother) & watching movies on the LMN channel. It was totally indulgent & very restful.
Eventually we went out for a VERY late brunch! Then picked up a few staples at the grocery & came directly back home, climbed back in bed & continued watching LMN movies. I couldn't believe she did that, Doris gets cabin fever so easily. I'm the one who can spend a few days lounging around since I'm so tired from flying.
Well anyway, the point I'm trying to get to is this:
Today I feel like I coming down with a freakin' cough & chest cold.
I mean - WHaT THE HELL?? I rested all day & my resistance didn't feel a bit down. Crap. I don't get it.
Furthermore, I forced myself to go to the gym today (it's been 2 weeks since the last visit- I am fat again, when I bend over to tie my nikes it feels like a whole basket ball is in my stomach.) Shit shit shit.
Anyway I thought the steamroom might help clear my lungs - which it did at first, but now I feel worse. Plus NOW my right shoulder is all cricked up from pushing the stupid machines & I can barely turn my head. I must be getting so feeble. sheesh.
So tomorrow I have to fly out & I have to try to fake feeling just super-duper, thank you very much. Fuck.
Now I'm trying to go to sleep.
I am definately going to need it.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
Is This All There Is?
When i was young, growing up with my (adopted) family thinking I was so much different/talented/special/better which put me on a mission to prove. To show. To be all I could be. (maybe I shoulda joined the army, NOT.)
To get a taste of Who I could be on my own. away from them. so far & so free!
Such a thrill to soar into life on my own (or so I thought - all the years of love, devotion & hope they had for me plus their prayers every night for my well-being left me far from alone.)
Still with all that going for me I failed miserably at reaching the pinnacle of success, not to mention the victory of self-truth as I chose the wrong paths & got lost in sex, drugs & disco - wrong choices, wrong men, wrong directions & a few wrong women too.
A decade of delerious escape from old pain into new pain - still really more of the old oddly enough. more of the same.
what the hell.
I was more successful in life when living with my parents, & failed miserably once I made my great escape.
Why couldn't I succeed with my dreams? What stopped me from becoming my ambitious self. what caused me to retreat into oblivion to where I would finally slowly awaken in such a stupor i would never fully recover?
It's taken so long to be who & what I am now & it is still not enough... tho' it must be for the time being - as this is how far I've come. Until I figure out where to go next. Or even more - how to jolt myself out of my current status-quo.
Once you make your life & get somewhat 'comfortable' languishing in the 'safety' of sleepwalking thru the days, months, years - it is hard to change again.
Am I stagnant?
Am I just plodding along? (sorry Linda! Love that blog name!)
How do I once again just snap out of it & grow even further?
There is still much to learn.
Where do I go, what do I do next?
If I die tomorrow, this just can't be all there is.
Then again... Maybe I'll just roll over & go back to sleep. Such a luxury & really- sleep is so healthy.
Even if I pull myself out of bed & GO TO THE GYM
it will still be more of the same.
Aye yie yie.
Somebody push me!
To get a taste of Who I could be on my own. away from them. so far & so free!
Such a thrill to soar into life on my own (or so I thought - all the years of love, devotion & hope they had for me plus their prayers every night for my well-being left me far from alone.)
Still with all that going for me I failed miserably at reaching the pinnacle of success, not to mention the victory of self-truth as I chose the wrong paths & got lost in sex, drugs & disco - wrong choices, wrong men, wrong directions & a few wrong women too.
A decade of delerious escape from old pain into new pain - still really more of the old oddly enough. more of the same.
what the hell.
I was more successful in life when living with my parents, & failed miserably once I made my great escape.
Why couldn't I succeed with my dreams? What stopped me from becoming my ambitious self. what caused me to retreat into oblivion to where I would finally slowly awaken in such a stupor i would never fully recover?
It's taken so long to be who & what I am now & it is still not enough... tho' it must be for the time being - as this is how far I've come. Until I figure out where to go next. Or even more - how to jolt myself out of my current status-quo.
Once you make your life & get somewhat 'comfortable' languishing in the 'safety' of sleepwalking thru the days, months, years - it is hard to change again.
Am I stagnant?
Am I just plodding along? (sorry Linda! Love that blog name!)
How do I once again just snap out of it & grow even further?
There is still much to learn.
Where do I go, what do I do next?
If I die tomorrow, this just can't be all there is.
Then again... Maybe I'll just roll over & go back to sleep. Such a luxury & really- sleep is so healthy.
Even if I pull myself out of bed & GO TO THE GYM
it will still be more of the same.
Aye yie yie.
Somebody push me!
Friday, March 20, 2009
A Meme From Deborah
Five names you go by:
1. Kathy
2. Kathlene
3. Aunt Kathy
4. Kathymae
5. KMae
(but when passengers ask my name I tell them "Gertrude P. Schlamowitz")
Three things you are wearing right now:
1. glasses
2. sleepshirt
3. nail polish
Three things you want very badly at the moment:
1. Energy
2. money
3. gay marriage legalized
Two people who will probably fill this out:
nobody
Two things you did last night:
1. drove home from the airport
2. picked up chinese food on the way
Two things you ate today:
1. 3 egg whites
2. chicken burger & sweet potato fries
Two people you last talked to on the phone:
1. brother Alan
2. Doris
Two things you are doing tomorrow:
1. going to the movies
2. munching butter popcorn
Two longest car rides:
1. Dallas to Banff Canada
2. Dallas to Boston
Two of your favorite beverages:
1. hot tea/w milk & sweetner
2. diet coke, but I stopped it & now try to drink lemon/lime seltzer
1. Kathy
2. Kathlene
3. Aunt Kathy
4. Kathymae
5. KMae
(but when passengers ask my name I tell them "Gertrude P. Schlamowitz")
Three things you are wearing right now:
1. glasses
2. sleepshirt
3. nail polish
Three things you want very badly at the moment:
1. Energy
2. money
3. gay marriage legalized
Two people who will probably fill this out:
nobody
Two things you did last night:
1. drove home from the airport
2. picked up chinese food on the way
Two things you ate today:
1. 3 egg whites
2. chicken burger & sweet potato fries
Two people you last talked to on the phone:
1. brother Alan
2. Doris
Two things you are doing tomorrow:
1. going to the movies
2. munching butter popcorn
Two longest car rides:
1. Dallas to Banff Canada
2. Dallas to Boston
Two of your favorite beverages:
1. hot tea/w milk & sweetner
2. diet coke, but I stopped it & now try to drink lemon/lime seltzer
Monday, March 16, 2009
Mid March Malaise
So I guess no news is good news for me the past 2 weeks.
Nothin' much going on here.
Workin' hard for no money. Had Carter Osterhouse or what ever his last name is from the HGTV channel (Carter Can, Trading Spaces) onboard - that gorgeous carpenter. He was SO nice & unassuming.
And that guy who played the police chief on McMillan & Wife all those years ago. He also played Daddy Warbucks in Annie on Broadway & toured for 20yrs with that (he's bald now.) VERY nice.
I've been working with this young gay guy who cracks me up constantly & that truly gets me thru the long days on the plane. We've bid to fly together for 3 months now & I wonder how much longer he will be interested in continuing this since he's so much younger (43.) (I'm 61.) I think he misses his mom & I do feel motherly to most of the younger Flight Attendants - well that would be most all of them since they are all younger than I. Anyway I adore working with Patrick who is a true comedian & works FAST which is my favorite thing. So many are slow & often lazy.
So only one week after that huge snow storm I last wrote about, the weather turned warm &gorgeous the next Saturday. Doris & I took the RV into the City & had brunch at Manatus in the West Village (eb, thought about you & the Queen since we'd dined there once.) Then sat around & people watched for a few hours, drove around checking out how much the scene had changed from the last year, (God- everything keeps changing in NYC especially in the Village) got hot dogs at Gray's Papaya's (the prices there sure went up..shish) before returning home. It was a fun, glorious day, but the next day became cold again, & that continues on here in the East. The fact that spring is supposed to come on Friday will probably be a rouse. Can't wait for warm weather full time.
Been reading all your blogs! Carry on.
Nothin' much going on here.
Workin' hard for no money. Had Carter Osterhouse or what ever his last name is from the HGTV channel (Carter Can, Trading Spaces) onboard - that gorgeous carpenter. He was SO nice & unassuming.
And that guy who played the police chief on McMillan & Wife all those years ago. He also played Daddy Warbucks in Annie on Broadway & toured for 20yrs with that (he's bald now.) VERY nice.
I've been working with this young gay guy who cracks me up constantly & that truly gets me thru the long days on the plane. We've bid to fly together for 3 months now & I wonder how much longer he will be interested in continuing this since he's so much younger (43.) (I'm 61.) I think he misses his mom & I do feel motherly to most of the younger Flight Attendants - well that would be most all of them since they are all younger than I. Anyway I adore working with Patrick who is a true comedian & works FAST which is my favorite thing. So many are slow & often lazy.
So only one week after that huge snow storm I last wrote about, the weather turned warm &gorgeous the next Saturday. Doris & I took the RV into the City & had brunch at Manatus in the West Village (eb, thought about you & the Queen since we'd dined there once.) Then sat around & people watched for a few hours, drove around checking out how much the scene had changed from the last year, (God- everything keeps changing in NYC especially in the Village) got hot dogs at Gray's Papaya's (the prices there sure went up..shish) before returning home. It was a fun, glorious day, but the next day became cold again, & that continues on here in the East. The fact that spring is supposed to come on Friday will probably be a rouse. Can't wait for warm weather full time.
Been reading all your blogs! Carry on.
Monday, March 02, 2009
Snow
OMG!!!! Do you believe this snow????
I woke up at 0530a & can't believe my eyeballs!
It's a frickin' blizzard out there. And WINDY. WOW.
Looks like 5 inches so far & it's 18 degrees.
It's still dark & still coming down & is wet & heavy.
I am NOT looking forward to shoveling this mess -yikes.
But thank the Lord I don't have to work today, that's a YEA!!!
I'm feeling bad for Val, Pixie & Tina & wondering how it is for those in Conn. Dammmmn. Hope y'all get to stay home.
We got food, & water & HEAT!! We are blessed. Hope the TV & electricity stays good. Doris & I will hibernate today.
It's 0610 now. Think I'll roll over & try to go back to sleep.
ahhhhhhh. Smooshy pillows!
I woke up at 0530a & can't believe my eyeballs!
It's a frickin' blizzard out there. And WINDY. WOW.
Looks like 5 inches so far & it's 18 degrees.
It's still dark & still coming down & is wet & heavy.
I am NOT looking forward to shoveling this mess -yikes.
But thank the Lord I don't have to work today, that's a YEA!!!
I'm feeling bad for Val, Pixie & Tina & wondering how it is for those in Conn. Dammmmn. Hope y'all get to stay home.
We got food, & water & HEAT!! We are blessed. Hope the TV & electricity stays good. Doris & I will hibernate today.
It's 0610 now. Think I'll roll over & try to go back to sleep.
ahhhhhhh. Smooshy pillows!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
